Today the Pond, Tomorrow the World

It's that kind of a random day...

Today the Pond, Tomorrow the World!

Those words were painted on a house near where I grew up and I always thought it odd.  Not just that someone had painted words on their house, but that those were the ones they chose.

At this stage in life I can totally relate to the words.  It's all about baby steps.  I'll work on conquoring my little part of the world before I get to fixing the Earth in its entirety.

And, in the midst of some insanity in my life, I've been working on something.  I've been trying to lose some weight.  And, it's working :)

I went to the doctor yesterday for an imaginary illness and learned that I have lost 14 pounds so far in 2011.  Only about 35 more to go.

Oh, and I wrote a blog post.  Maybe tomorrow I'll catch up on some of my reading.  I have missed you guys...

Frogs have it easy, they can eat what bugs them.

-Author unknown

We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs.
-Publilius Syrus

All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.

-Cynthia Heimel

Random Thought

I'm starting a campaign to make the Monday after Super Bowl a national holiday.

Who's in?

And a Super Bowl themed quote from Deion Sanders, commenting on why he doesn't like the two-week break between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl:

"Having two weeks off gives family, friends, and the media more time to get on your nerves."

Media Karma

image courtesy of masternewmedia.org

I'm often frustrated by the media.  I hate the way they sensationalize their stories.  I get it.  They are trying to hook us to read/hear/see their version of current events.  But, for many reasons, it frustrates me. 

One is that "celebrities" are given a spotlight because they are "famous," not necessarily because of what has happened to them.  It is terrible that Gabrielle Giffords was shot.  I would also think it terrible if my next door neighbor was shot.  But, outside of a small mention locally, I doubt any of you would hear about it from the media.

Today, however, I had a giggle about what I'm calling Media Karma.

We've all had bad experiences at retail establishments.  And, for the most part, we are limited in our ability to tell the world about those negative encounters.  Sure, we can tell our friends and family.  We can blog about it.  But, what if you were a radio personality with shows broadcast in 8 different cities nationwide?

Imagine my delight when I heard one such deejay bashing a national retailer on the radio this morning.  I'll admit I didn't get to hear the end because I had to drop Prince off at daycare, but what I heard made me smile.   He and his wife had a bad experience with an idiotic store employee.  It wasn't much different that the insipid brainless drones we've all encountered.  But, he was literally telling the world.  Well, at least the United States.

It wasn't a big event.  I don't think anything will happen because of his venting.  Yet, I have a happy because somehow, somewhere I feel like putting that karma out into the universe helps serve the rest of us who are not heard or vindicated because of our insignificance in society.

So, am I petty?  Yup.  Am I using time and energy on this that could be used for better purposes?  Probably.  But, am I happy?  Hell yeah!

And, in my world that is pretty damn important!

Awkward Moments Bite

Pat wrote about embarrassing moments today and it reminded me of a story I think you guys will enjoy.

It starts in 1977 - I was in preschool with a little boy named Lennox Patterson* and apparently I was a biter. 

Flash forward to 1993, the summer before I went away to college, and I am working the front desk at a doctor's office.  In walks a boy named Lennox Pattington in a hat from the college I'd be attending in a few weeks.

So, do I open with, "Hey, I'm starting at that fine university in August"?

Nope, I say, "Hey, I think I used to bite you."

Awkward much? 

It's even better when you learn that, while his name was very unusual, he wasn't even the boy I'd gone to preschool with.  Note the different, yet very similar last names.

What's so ironic about the story is that this Lennox attended the same small private school that my preschool friend Lennox attended; Mr. Pattington was just a year ahead of us.

We did spend the next 3 years together in college.  And, we did become friends.  And, he did introduce me to my college boyfriend.  And, he did make me look pretty cool to know some fraternity boys before classes even started.  And, he did marry a friend of mine from high school.

So, I guess it turned out okay.  Pretty funny too :)

*Names changed in an attempt to protect anonymity while preserving the irony of the story.

If it can lick, it can bite.

-French proverb

It's Tuesday, Right?

Can you have a bad case of the Mondays on Tuesday?  Is it called something else?  Just being bitchy grumpy?

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

-Peter in Office Space

More Tales from Work Buddy

My work buddy constantly keeps me from jumping off the roof. I've shared some of her stories previously about morning sickness, crop dusting and the funnies she shares that keep me going. 

She has a two and a half year old at home, so she has constant entertainment for me.  It wouldn't be fair to keep the stories from you, so here you go:

Baby Girl is a really smart girl.  (Seriously, she knows her phone number and address at age 2.  I'm so impressed.)  But, like all kids she uses her smarts against her parents.  So, they have to be on their toes at all times

White Ham

The scene: Husband of Work Buddy (HOWB) and Work Buddy (WB) were getting the ingredients together to make turkey sandwiches for lunch. 

Baby Girl:  I would like a ham sandwich, please.

WB: We're having turkey sandwiches today, sweetie.

Baby Girl:  I WANT HAM.  I ONLY LIKE HAM!  I NEED HAM.  WAAAAAA!!!! HAM!!!!

HOWB: (turning to WB)  Honey, remember that white ham we bought the other day?  Maybe Baby Girl would like a white ham sandwich?

Baby Girl:  YES!  White ham.  I like white ham.  It's my favorite.  I only like white ham.

aaaand.... The HumidiFIRE

The scene: With the cold, dry air Baby Girl had been coughing at night and HOWB and WB discussed putting a humidifier in her room.

Baby Girl:  NOOOOO!!!   No humidiFIRE!  NOOOOOO!!!!!

HOWB and WB: Huh?

Baby Girl: NOOOOO!!! No humidiFIRE! No fire in my room!!!!  Fire scary!!!

The stories are never as good when I tell them, but I hope you got at least a little giggle out of these.

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. 

~Liz Armbruster

The Snarky HR Lady Returns

image courtesy of zazzle.com

Soooo.... one of the duties of my job is the tuition reimbursement program.  I came across an application today that made me do a facepalm.

A current employee who is working on a bachelor's degree submitted an application that she wants to take a math course and a writing course.  Actually, the second request was for Collage Composition. 

Initially I thought this was an art class.  Then I realized she meant "college" and I looked to see the name of the institution listed as XXX Community Collage.  She is 29 and has been working in an office environment for 2 years and cannot spell college.

Facepalm.

I suppose it could be worse.  She could have spelled it with a K.

Clearly, she needs a spelling course.

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

-Daniel J. Boorstin